Tradition and Father-Daughter Dance Under Attack in Rhode Island
Traditional names are often under attack with changing times and much of this stems from an all inclusive, ease the pain of the somewhat unfairness of life mentality. Such is the case in Rhode Island where a recent event has led to a request to change the traditional name of the father-daughter dance to 'family dances' to alleviate gender bias. Or at least that appears to be the premise for the request by a single-mother in Cranston, RI who complained to the American Civil Liberties Union that her daughter was unable to attend a 'father-daughter' dance.
Tradition defined as a specific practice of long standing is under attack frequently by the ACLU in what often appears as an attempt to equalize everything so that no one is ever excluded or offended. I am not saying I don't feel empathy for a child without a father or one who doesn't care enough to attend the father-daughter dance, but I think that our traditions are often under attack by a minority of individuals who care little about anything but their singular lives. I grew up in a single-parent household and it presented some difficulties, but I never once remember having a thought that events should change to accommodate me. Maybe I was fortunate to have family and friends who could stand in and fill the role if even for one night. My life was different, not unfortunate or excluded. Did this single mother ever think about another approach? Is there a grandfather, an uncle or mentor who might accompany her daughter to the dance?
We teach kids today not to keep score, to be politically correct and we teach them that life is so fair that instead of working for equal achievement we can instead bend the rules. We don't all start at the same place and we don't all reach the same end result, life isn't fair that way. We live in a nation of equal opportunity, not equal achievement. Teaching children there are no winners and losers, isn't realistic. Because traditionally there will always be someone who achieves more or less than you as an individual.
I am not certain if any tradition is safe anymore as we see case after case challenging the name or purpose of a tradition by the one individual who feels they have been treated unfairly by life so everyone else must invoke change to make life easier for them. Maybe I sound a little tough because I worked to overcome rather than bend the rules. We kept score and I learned how to lose and how to work harder to win. I hope the school district in Rhode Island and their state legislature do the same as they work towards a resolution.