The Fundamentals of Friendship
I lost a close and dear friend in my thirties, gone too soon and early in this life I understood immediately how much I valued our times of great conversation, problem solving, shared dreams and the feeling of nothing was ever met alone. My friend was always there, always with me and then suddenly she was gone. While I could never replace our friendship, I have been fortunate to meet people whose trust and presence have been a similar relationship.
Some friendships last a lifetime, others are a period of time, but ever notice how even those brief encounters can pick up right where they left off and blossom again. I have friends I can call at 3:00 a.m. and it's never an issue, friends I can share anything with and friends who know me and love me unconditionally. Someone once said friends are the family we choose. I like to think of my friends as family, and perhaps that comes from a lesson in my faith. My grandfather as a minister called everyone by their name prefaced with the word brother or sister. He had a collective family definition of friends as brothers and sisters in God's eyes.
Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of needs placed friendship and family on the same level and in the middle, but I always like to interpret that it was the need of both that takes you to the top of the pyramid where he lists self-esteem and self-actualization. Sure friendship is not a basic need to survive, but it can feel as such when you go through life's pivotal moments. There are few moments in my life that were not made better by sharing with a friend.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak about my friend lost so early in life and reflect on a couple of happy moments. There were a million funny moments, but I reflected most on what the loss of her life taught me about the meaning of friendship. If you are fortunate enough to have a best friend or two, either for a brief moment in time or a friendship that has lasted a lifetime, never take it for granted and be a good friend to all you meet.